Libra’s Scales: Questioning How We Relate
Libra
is the only sign of the zodiac that is symbolized by an inanimate object—a Scale. And yet this sign is concerned with
partnerships, unions, relationships, lovers, marriages, and social affairs, all
very human preoccupations. Libra is also
concerned with divorce, litigation, justice, diplomacy, compromise and
contracts—human tools for relating to each other. There’s something about the Scales of Libra
that demand fairness and balance in the human sphere, something that comes
naturally to the rest of creation, which lives within the cosmic laws of
birth/death/rebirth. Our patriarchal
fear of death and change, and its deep disrespect for the Feminine, doesn’t
help balance the Scales. Perhaps that’s
why our understanding of relationships needs an upgrade.
Blue Light Lady
Blue Light Lady
We
humans have been given free will. And we
so often don’t use it. Instead we get
caught in unconscious beliefs and triggers that keep us from making the right
choices for our lives. These beliefs and rules make us think that we’re being fair
and balanced, but as we evolve in self-awareness, those very rules which once gave
us discipline and focus might now be misguiding us about our real needs and
purpose in life. We see this happening
in all aspects of our modern society—many things we used to believe in are no
longer helpful or even valid. We need
new rules that reflect our more conscious society.
Relationships
are suffering from old beliefs about men and women, about marriage, about
partnership. Whether we speak of gay
rights or women’s reproductive rights, the old relationship rules of patriarchy
are no longer valid—if they ever were. I’m
not only talking about our legal views of relationship, but also our inner
beliefs about relationships and love.
Since the early part of the 20th Century, relationships—and therefore
Libra—have been changing.
The
three outer planets which represent collective change—Uranus, Neptune and Pluto—have
traveled through Libra in our lifetime, changing our beliefs about relationships
on the most basic levels. From October
1942-August 1957, Neptune moved through the sign of Libra. The Baby Boomers have this aspect in our
charts. Neptune in Libra sets up a
longing in us, a yearning for a soul mate, our perfect lover and match. We long for men of honor and courage, who will
love us and protect us forever. Men long
for their perfect match, women who will understand and support them.
Aladdin & Jasmine
Aladdin & Jasmine
What
we got was disappointment and disillusionment, two traits of a misunderstood
Neptune. We had a hard time with each
other’s reality, and therefore there was quite of bit of the other side of
Libra’s Scales: divorce, litigation and contracts. Our ideas about relationship changed, often
for the worse. But we needed to be disillusioned
about patriarchal relationships—especially about romantic love—because these
types of relationships were anything but fair and balanced. Women and men were left with roles to play
out which no longer served our souls needs.
Then Uranus
went into Libra in October 1968-September 1975, surprising us with openly gay
couples, as well as mixed racial couples.
After the 60s’, it seems like anything
goes regarding partnerships and relationships. The more unique and surprising the better!
And when Pluto went into Libra from October 1971-August 1984, the kids decided
to renovate the whole concept of relationships.
They wanted relationships to be deep and meaningful to survive divorce,
and they had to be between equals. Then every 12 years Jupiter went through Libra
and every 28 years Saturn went into Libra, bringing the new emerging archetypal
energies of partnership into our collective consciousness.
With
all the changes in our self-awareness, of course relationships are
evolving. And yet, when we look at the
culture at large, we’re still fighting over marriage and children, divorce and
fair sharing of family resources. Our
rules are patriarchal and while divorce courts overtly have to be fair, most
divorces end up badly, with neither side happy with the results.
And then there’s the whole question of infidelity. Why would a partner turn to someone else? In a patriarchal marriage, where there’s only one relationship allowed for an entire lifetime, infidelity becomes a problem which leads to divorce. I think it’s because patriarchal marriages are based on ownership and possession. When we marry, we unconsciously believe we own our partner. So when one partner ‘strays’ we feel betrayed and abandoned. A big part of this feeling comes from the secrecy of an affair. Patriarchal marriage sets us up to maintain the secrecy of an illicit affair.
And then there’s the whole question of infidelity. Why would a partner turn to someone else? In a patriarchal marriage, where there’s only one relationship allowed for an entire lifetime, infidelity becomes a problem which leads to divorce. I think it’s because patriarchal marriages are based on ownership and possession. When we marry, we unconsciously believe we own our partner. So when one partner ‘strays’ we feel betrayed and abandoned. A big part of this feeling comes from the secrecy of an affair. Patriarchal marriage sets us up to maintain the secrecy of an illicit affair.
What
if we’ve been programed to feel betrayed?
What if seeking other partners on a short term basis is part of our
human nature—a part that’s been vilified by church and state? What if we could have it both ways—a loving
marriage and a legal lover?
Patricia Kennealy-Morrison’s Keltiad Series
Patricia
Kennealy-Morrison created an amazing Celtic-based world in all her Keltiad
novels. Ms. Kennealy-Morrison was the editor
of Jazz & Pop Magazine back in the 60s and married the
Doors’ Jim Morrison in a pagan handfasting ceremony. She has an amazing understanding of the Celts
and their culture and has created a world that mixes the best elements of
Celtic mythology, science fiction and fantasy.
The
foundation of her stories is this: She
takes the story of St. Brendan the Navigator who supposedly took ship from
Ireland in 453 AD and discovered the Americas and changes one essential element
of history. In Ms. Kennealy-Morrison’s
world, Brendan and the ships leaving Ireland with emigrants seeking a new home
were fleeing the persecution of St. Patrick (they were the snakes he drove
out!) because they wanted to worship their old gods and keep their own
civilization—not become Roman.
Brendan
was the son of one of the Tuatha De Danaan, themselves descendants and heirs to
the secrets of Atlantis. Together with
the Celts, the surviving Danaans (the Sidhe or Faerie Folk) set sail in
starships seeking an ancient legend about a new world in outer space. After two years’ wandering among the stars,
they found their safe haven. They named
this new world Keltia.
Through
the long centuries, the Kelts first settled on the Throneworld system of Tara, and
later spread out to the Six Nations, the other Keltic star systems, taking the
old Earth names of Erinna, Kymry, Scota, Kernow, Vannin and Brytaned. And through the long centuries they became
strong and prospered. Ruled by many
kings and queens of Brendan’s line, they established a solid and strong
civilization, with starship technology—so they could even go back secretly to
Earth to bring more emigrants to Keltia.
In their long history, they had their own Arthur and Gweniver who had to
fight to win back Keltia from the powerful druid, Ederyn. And 1500 years later, a young queen named
Aeron is fated to be the one who reunites her world with Earth, and who has to
reclaim Arthur’s power to fight off ancient enemies who have followed the Kelts
back into the heavens. As you can
imagine, they are wonderful, daring, adventurous stories!
Patricia
Kennealy’s stories give us interesting insights into many of the components of
Celtic society. The stories show us the
way their military functioned through the Fianna, what parts the Druid Order
and the Ban-Draoi, the priestesses and sorceresses, played, the importance of
the Bardic Association and the magical Dragon Kinship—all honed to use for the
well-being of Keltia. If you can find
any old copies of any of her series, they are well worth the read.
Just
as important as the adventure stories and the Celtic mindset are the various
relationships between the characters.
Parents and children, siblings and cousins, lovers and betrayers, leaders
and citizens, Kennealy-Morrison creates uniquely Celtic characters. They have an
inner sense of freedom and confidence, with a deep expectation of being
responsible, that make for good role models. While there is a straight-forwardness and innate
respect that seems to be basic to the Celtic character, it is the freedom and
passion of Celtic relationships that interest me.
Kennealy-Morrison’s
understanding of Celtic traditions about marriage and relationships is very
much a part of all her stories. The
Celts were very adult about relationships.
They were comfortable in their bodies, grown-up in their understanding
of love and fair about what was expected from partnerships and marriages.
You
see, the Celts believed men and women were free to pick their own mates and
lovers. One of the saddest stories in
our culture is the tragedy of the love triangle between our King Arthur, Queen
Guinevere and Lancelot. This would never
have been a tragedy for the Celts because they believed that everyone had a
right to take a lover, even if they were married. That included women, which is so very
different from almost any other ancient society. There are stories of Queen Maeve of Connacht
having multiple lovers while married to the King Ailill. Some Celtic women had
many husbands, while divorce was accepted and practiced (usually) without the
rancor we see in modern divorces.
The Celts
had strong Brehon Laws and made sure that these laws included the rights and
rules of human relationships. Because of
the Celts’ respect for these Brehon Laws, there was no need for any secrecy
about taking a lover. If your marriage
partner had no real objection, lovers had legal status. What a grown-up
perspective!
Our
belief that we can love only one person in a lifetime is childish and selfish,
and comes out of the patriarchal need for domination, control and possession
which causes us to feel unloved and uncared for—therefore the jealousy. As we grow and learn more about ourselves, we
will often be attracted to certain people, people who somehow resonate with our
present needs. But acknowledging this
doesn’t discount what we might have in our marriage relationship. Loving someone else doesn’t have to mean you
don’t love your mate.
We
romanticize marriage and often refuse to see that marriage is an economic
relationship as well as a love relationship.
We expect that marriage only happens when we are ‘soul-mates’ but not
everyone is lucky enough to find that one perfect soul to fit with life-time
after life-time. Haven’t we baby-boomers proved that!?!
Instead
of condemning the desires of our hearts, perhaps we need to find ways to
accommodate the changes we go through during our lifetime and the needs of our
hearts. Why can’t our hearts grow out of jealousy and into a greater
loving? Who says we only have enough
love for one other man or one other woman at a time? Why can’t we love two people? Why can’t all
three love each other?
Perhaps
not all marriages need to end in divorce if we can get over the fact that we
don’t own each other! What would happen
if we were grown-up enough to understand that the human heart might have needs
that one person often cannot fulfill.
What happens if we set ourselves and our lovers free? What happens if we took seriously the idea
that “All You Need Is Love!”
Ancient Celts and Marriage
While
Judaism, Christianity and Islam have had a great influence on our beliefs about
relationships, marriage, and partnerships, they no longer serve us as modern
guides because they are innately misogynistic.
They never centered their ideals about marriage solely around love—in fact,
it was quite the opposite! Often, marriage
was purely about economics. It was
rarely about the freedom and partnership of soul-mates. We need to leave the limiting patriarchal beliefs
about female sexuality and the masculine perception of sexual ownership behind
and find other options and guidelines for engaging fruitfully and graciously in
relationships as well as divorces.
I
happen to think that the Celts knew how to do it right. The ancient Celtics had a renown legal system
called the Brehon Laws, which acknowledged ten forms of marriage as well as
very open relationships. You could be married and have another, much-beloved
wife or husband. You could each have official
lovers and all children from any liaisons were legitimate. You could be married for a year and a day—a short
term commitment that was honored and valued.
You could be married at the Stones—formally uniting two great families—or
you could be married by eloping. Not so
different from today, but today we are still seeing marriage from a patriarchal
perspective. That’s what needs to go, so
we can validate new and different forms of relationships and partnerships.
Julie Raymond
Julie Raymond
Celtic women were free of many of the constraints women in
other cultures had to live under and that made marriage into something
different and viable. Celtic women were
sexually free, and they were free to be warriors, judges, midwives, priestesses,
ambassadors, mediators and landowners. While
men overtly had power over women, Celtic women had the freedom to choose who to
marry or divorce. And since women could own their own land or business, they
had a great deal more independence than most ancient women. They were, in fact, very much like women
today.
The Celts could
marry in one of ten ways. As in other civilizations, marriage was considered an
economic union, although love came into play just as often. The first three types of marriages required
formal, pre-nuptial agreements. All the
other types of marriage included the assumption of financial responsibilities
for child-rearing. There were no illegitimate
children in Celtic society—that nasty concept grew out of the Church.
Under
Brehon Law, there were 10 forms of marriage, each diminishing in importance,
legal rights and desirability (thanks to Epona Perry for this simplified list):
- A first degree union takes place between partners of equal rank and property.
- A second degree union in which a woman has less property than the man and is supported by him.
- A third degree union in which a man has less property than the woman and has to agree to the management of the woman’s cattle and fields.
- A fourth degree union is the marriage of the loved one in which no property rights changed hands, though children’s rights are safeguarded.
- A fifth degree union is the mutual consent of the man and woman to share their bodies, but live under separate roofs.
- A sixth degree union in which a defeated enemy’s wife is abducted. This marriage is valid only as long as the man can keep the woman with him.
- A seventh degree union is called a soldier’s marriage and is a temporary and primarily sexual union (a one night stand).
- An eighth degree union occurs when a man seduces a woman through lying, deception or taking advantage of her intoxication (equivalent to the modern definition of “date rape”).
- A ninth degree union is a union by forcible rape.
- A tenth degree union occurs between feeble-minded or insane people.
I love
that the Celts considered the love lives of insane people! As you can see, the Celts acknowledged the
power of love as well as the power of power. They believed that marriage was between two
equal partners, and unlike the Romans, did not believe that the woman became
the property of the man. Celtic marriage was essentially contractual
and social, not at all religious, but based on the freedom of the husband and wife.
Divorce
was a relatively simple matter and could be requested by either party. Divorced
women were not looked down upon and were always free to remarry. The ancient
Celts were polygamous and Celtic women could have multiple husbands. Most of us might not want to be polygamous
today, but we’re certainly prone to having affairs. Perhaps the old Celts can give us new ways of
looking at love and relationships. Maybe
we can begin to have grown-up relationships that are loving and free. May that day come soon!
So
Mote It Be!
From
the Bard’s Grove,
Cathy